


Group chats are fun! (No they aren't.)

by EBBAisGay



Series: Dear Evan Fanson(bad name I know) [1]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Also I will try to make Jared realise his mistakes, Connor Can Cook, F/F, Galaxy Gals, Gayness, Group chat, Harry Potter References, Hurt/Comfort, I Tried, I am TIRED and GAY IM A MESS, I am TRYING ok?, I seriously have no idea where I'm going with this, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Light Angst, M/M, Multi, My First Fanfic, That I post, Tree Bros, Vines, also I think Im going to give jared a bf, also vines are coming in, and I will soon make references to stuff like cons name in fifth chapter, but it will be a background thing, cause i cant, i guess, like in the second one, so be patient pls, soon, that is their ship name right?, there will be some mentioned at one point, what is a gc fanfic without some?, why isn't that a tag, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2019-03-29
Packaged: 2019-05-20 01:31:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 11,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14885078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EBBAisGay/pseuds/EBBAisGay
Summary: JaredKleinman created a new group chatJaredKleinman added EvanHansen, ConnorMurphy and ZoeMurphyJaredKleinman: sup you fucks, its ya boiEvanHansen: Jared what are you doing? Why did you make this?ConnorMurphy: i dontt like this uhgJared created a group chat, what more can I say? Weird stuff and unfunny stuff might happen.





	1. Taco Shells or Tortillas? no

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fanfic that I'm posting so I'm nervous TM. I don't think its really funny but oh well!  
> I won't show the usernames here since it's going to say who is who.  
> Also how each and everyone writes I guess so I can also take note of this:
> 
> Evan: Writes grammatically correct and sometimes in big chunks of text  
> Connor: he doesn't really care what he types, so very typo-ish and without '  
> Jared: has some decency and at least doesn't have typos  
> Zoe: Also grammatically correct but just doesn't use dots and exclamations marks and all that  
> Alana: Vey correct. That is all really.
> 
> I might go through and change some stuff, I'm not sure.  
> Enjoy!

JaredKleinman created a new group chat

JaredKleinman added EvanHansen, ConnorMurphy and ZoeMurphy

JaredKleinman: sup you fucks, its ya boi

EvanHansen: Jared what are you doing? Why did you make this?

ConnorMurphy: i dontt like this uhg

ZoeMurphy: JARED

JaredKleinman: sup Zoe wassup

ZoeMurphy: You forgot to add Alana >:((

JaredKleinman: oh shit u rite

JaredKleinman added AlanaBeck

AlanaBeck: Hello everyone.

ZoeMurphy: Hi Alana!!!!! How are you???

EvanHansen: Hi there!

ConnorMurphy: hi

JaredKleinman: sup

AlanaBeck: I’m fine! Thanks for asking. : )

JaredKleinman: omg I forgot abt the best part of group chats

EvanHansen: Jared, I know what you are about to do

EvanHansen: Don’t

JaredKleinman changed EvanHansen to TreeFucker69

JaredKleinman changed AlanaBeck to NiceSmartAss

JaredKleinman changed ZoeMurphy to TheBetterMurphy

JaredKleinman changed ConnorMurphy to TheShittyMurphy

JaredKleinman changed JaredKleinman to TheMemeMasterTM

TheShittyMurphy: ok wow fuck you

TheShittyMurphy: very fucking unoriginal

TheBetterMurphy: Uh ok thanks Jared but that is kinda mean

TheBetterMurphy: And very unoriginal 

TheMemeMasterTM: its just a joke chillax

TheShittyMurphy: who tf even says chillax anymre??

TheMemeMasterTM: the kool kids still use chillax ofc

TheShittyMurphy: if u think that the kool kids use chillax then ur wrong

NiceSmartAss: I don’t know if I should laugh or feel offended for mine.

TheBetterMurphy: Both

TheMemeMasterTM: I took some naming advice from zo over there

TheMemeMasterTM: wink wink, nudge nudge

TheBetterMurphy: JARED DON’T YOU DARE

NiceSmartAss: Um, should I be worried?

TheShittyMurphy: nah dude dont 

NiceSmartAss: Sounds fake, but ok.

TheMemeMasterTM: wOw, I'm the meme master and u said a meme first

TheMemeMasterTM: how d a r e you

TheShittyMurphy: hA how does it feel like to be one upped by a nerd

TheBetterMurphy: I hope you meant nerd as a compliment because I will kick your ass

NiceSmartAss: It’s fine either way Zoe! Don’t bother.

NiceSmartAss: And it’s more of a Tumblr meme if I recall...

TheMemeMasterTM: AWW ur gf is protecting you!!!

TheMemeMasterTM: how sweet :3

TheBetterMurphy: S T O P

NiceSmartAss: Jared, never EVER use that emoji please. It doesn’t suit you at all.

TheMemeMasterTM: FINE

TheMemeMasterTM: yall just cant take a joke huh?

TheBetterMurphy: Yeah, that joke being you

NiceSmartAss: Wow.

TheShittyMurphy: ANYWAY

TheShittyMurphy: if were done w Jared ive a question

TheBetterMurphy: Only if you use ‘I have’ like a normal person

TheShittyMurphy: no

TheBetterMurphy: I tried

TheShittyMurphy: but wheres Ev hes been quiet

TheMemeMasterTM: awww you already miss ur bf? :3

TheBetterMurphy: JARED, WHAT DID WE SAY

TheShittyMurphy: HE ISNT MY BF FIR FUVKSSAKE

TheMemeMasterTM: ;3c

NiceSmartAss: Jared, we are going to kick you from the group chat you created if you aren’t stopping

TheMemeMaster: geez fine but u guys are AGAIN missing out on the fun

TreeFucker69: Jared, there is no fun when you do that, we’re rather grateful

TreeFucker69: TreeFucker69? Really Jared??

TheMemeMasterTM: oh come on!! U love it :3

NiceSmartAss kicked TheMemeMasterTM from the group chat

TheShittyMurphy: he fuckn deserved it

TheBetterMurphy: I think we should add him back though, where is the fun WITHOUT him?

TheShittyMurphy: nice joke sis

TheBetterMurphy: Thanks, but the best joke is Jareds life

TreeFucker69: WOW that was rude.

TheShittyMurphy: Lma O

NiceSmartAss: I will just add him then

NiceSmartAss added JaredKleinman

JaredKleinman changed their name to OffendedBoi

OffendedBoi: nice joke btw

TheBetterMurphy: Thanks I guess

TreeFucker69: Soeey guys, mom called me to say that she’s leaving earlier from work today

TreeFucker69: Sorry*

TreeFucker69: She also for ONCE finally remembered about Taco Tuesday, at least, and told me to  
buy some tortillas from the convenience store

TheBetterMurphy: Wait you guys don’t use taco shells???

TreeFucker69: Of course not? Only heathens do that

TheShittyMurphy: well, u btter call us sinners cause thats how we do em

TreeFucker69: I always knew you two were, especially you Connor

OfendedBoi: why?? did u find out his kinks?? If ya did is he that kinky as I suspected?

TreeFucker69: JESUS JARED NO, I DIDN’T AND I DON’T WANT TO. Like ever thank you very much.

TheShittyMurphy: wow ev u dont want to know how my sex life is like

TheShittyMurpy: im hurt ://

TreeFucker69: You know, I was gonna ask if you wanted to come with me but nevermind

TheShittyMurphy: NO!!! i want to come!!!!

TheBetterMurphy: Can I also join?

TheShittyMurphy: no

TreeFucker69: Connor!!! Don’t be rude! >:(

OffendedBoi: omg u made him use a >:( emoji

OffendedBoi: ur fucked

NiceSmartAss: Can I also come? We can all just hang out before your mom comes if it is.

TreeFucker69: Yeah! That sounds nice

OffendedBoi: ill come as well

TreeFucker69: no

TheShittyMurphy: hA IN UR FACE

TheBetterMurphy: Ge Evan, kill him

NiceSmartAss: Hey, when should we meet?

TheShittyMurphy: I ugess soon?? idk

TreeFucker69: Hey guys! I was wondering if you all would like to actually stay for tacos?

TreeFucker69: Mom will probably be happy that I’m bringing my friends home for once

TheShittyMurphy: but I come to ur place all the tmie???

TreeFucker69: Well, yeah, but shegot used to you being here

TreeFucker69: She got*

OffendedBoi: he goes to ur place all the time??? You barely invite me anymore!!!

TheShittyMurphy: it shoes that ima much better companion than u

TheBetterMurphy: shoes?? Really???

TheShittyMurphy: fuxk yiu

TheBetterMurphy: Chill

TheShittyMurphy: no

TreeFucker69: Guys stop!!!

TreeFucker69: But can you all just come to my place right now if you want

TheShittyMurphy: b ther in 5

TheBetterMurphy: Hey!! You better drive me if you're taking your car!!!

NiceSmartAss: Can you guys also come and get me on your way?

OffendedBoi: ey take me as well!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!

TreeFucker69: But you live just a few houses away from me?

OffendedBoi: so?

TheShittyMurphy: FINE ill take yall to evs place

TheShittyMurphy: bya evangreen

TheBetterMurphy: Yeah, cya Evan!

NiceSmartAss: Bye! See ya!

OffendedBoi: lol bye

TreeFucker69: Bye guys!! See you all in a bit!


	2. Anxiety is a bitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anxiety is shitty. Especially for Evan. Jared didn't help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 4 days after the first chapter!! Since I am still at school I will write some more and post the third one soon.  
> ALso Connor and Alana being bros? Sign me the FUCK up.  
> Evan: TreeFucker69/Evangreen  
> Connor: TheShittyMurphy/Conman/CornerMurphy  
> Jared: OffendedBoi  
> Zoe: TheBetterMurphy  
> Alana: NiceSmartAss/SmartGirl
> 
> Enjoy!

NiceSmartAss: Good morning everyone!

NiceSmartAss: I hope you all ate or are going to eat breakfast and will try to take care of yourselves!

TheBetterMurphy: Aw, that’s sweet! I hope that you ate as well :) 

NiceSmartAss: Of course! I try to have a healthy eating program to make my mental health be better.

NiceSmartAss: Or as good as it can be, ha ha.

OffendedBoi: look at u! trying to actually take care of ur brain! u go gurl!

OffendedBoi: also why the f u c k are yall messaging so early in the morning

TreeFucker69: It’s time for school Jared.

TheShittyMurphy: we literlly need to wake up for school

OffendedBoi: but still what the f u c k

OffendedBoi: I am TRYING to get my beauty sleep here while I still can

TheShittyMurphy: ah yes, cause u ahve a beauty to sustain huh

TheBetterMurphy: LMAO were abck at it again omg

TheShittyMurphy: back*

TheBetterMurphy: Oh fuck off

TheShittyMurphy: no

TreeFucker69: Anyway, good morning guys!

TreeFucker69: I just ate since we had some leftover tacos so that’s nie I guess

TreeFucker69: Nice*

TheShittyMurphy: ye mornin 

OffendedBoi: O O F ok whatever good morning yall

NiceSmartAss:Also! It was very fun at your place yesterday Evan! And the tacos were really good.

TheBetterMurphy: Yeah we might as well change to tortillas instead of taco shells

TheShittyMurphy: no we aint goijng to

TheBetterMurphy: Nah

TheShittyMurphy: but rlly say to heidi that shes a greatc ook 

TheBetterMurphy: Great cook*

TheShittyMurphy: no

TreeFucker69: I will guys, don’t worry! I will tell her and maybe that means that she will try to come earlier from work and not forget about Taco Tuesday every other week and that way she will be able to see in how much pain I actually am everyday.

TreeFucker69: She will be ahppy for the compliments though!

TreeFucker69: Happy*

TheShittyMuprhy: ev thats rather heavy bro

OffendedBoi: is it as heavy as the trauma he received from his dad tho

TheShittyMurphy: wait what

NiceSmartAss: Evan, are you feeling alright today?

TreeFucker69: no

TheBetterMurphy: Ok is this a ‘no I am actually feeling like shit today’ or is it ‘no no don’t worry I’m fine’ kind of no?

TheBetterMurphy: Because tbh we’ve all used that as a joke

OffendedBoi: alana hasnt tho

NiceSmartAss: Doesn’t matter now!

TheShittyMurphy: ev?

TreeFucker69: I am not feeling good today, yeah.

TreeFucker69: And I hate that? Because yesterday I had so much fun with you guys and just also felt good.

TreeFucker69: Like it wasn’t a bad day, and it was a school day! You guys know how much anxiety I feel about going to school and all that stuff.

TreeFucker69: And now I just feel like shit? I think I’ll text mom and tell her I can’t go to school today.

TreeFucker69: And Jared? Don’t you fucking dare talk about that ok?

 

Private chat between Conman and Evangreen

Conman: u want me to come over today?

Evangreen: Con… It’s a school day, I don’t want you to skip school today because of me.

Conman: did u call heidi?

Evangreen: Yeah

Conman: what did she say?

Evangreen: She said that it will be ok and that I should just go back to bed and rest.

Conman: and do u remmeber two weeks ago when u skipped for me cause I was feeling like shit?

Evangreen: Of course… we literally watched vines and Hannibal all day.

Conman: well im coming over to u rn so get netflix goin

Conman: and m bringing some snacks as well

Evangreen: ...

Evangreen: Thank you.

 

Group chat created by OffendedBoi 

TheBetterMurphy: …

NiceSmartAss: Jared, say sorry.

OffendedBoi: yeah ok Im sorry I didnt mean to make you feel shittier

TheBetterMurphy: Sorry Evan, if you want to we can stop over at your place after school?

TheBetterMurphy: Evan?

TheBetterMurphy: Evan?????

TheShittyMurphy: dont woryr guys hez fine

TheShittyMurphy: ill be skiping school and im heading to his place rn

TheBetterMurphy: Wait you’re skipping?? Larry will flip his shit when he finds out!

TheShittyMurphy: so? Ill face the consequences

OffendedBoi: say sorry to ev from me i seriously didnt want to make him upset

NiceSmartAss: It wasn’t mainly you though, so don’t fret to much over it.

TheShittyMurphy: yea i will

 

Private chat between SmartGirl and CornerMurphy:

SmartGirl: Hey Connor, how is Evan?

SmartGirl: Is he better?

CornerMurphy: uh

CornerMurphy: i mean

CornerMurphy sent a picture

[the picture is one of Connor and Evan cuddling on Evan’s bed, Evan clinging to Connor from his right side while there is a laptop on Connor’s stomach that is open on on an episode of something]

SmartGirl: Oh my GOD!!! I think I should know if you are feeling alright lol.

CornerMurphy: im slowly dying but eyyy at least im experiencing a happy death

SmartGirl: That is a mood I have to say.

SmartGirl: Is he though?

CornerMurphy: what??? gay??? man do is wsh to know tbh

SmartGirl: Wow mood.

SmartGirl: But no, Connor, is he better?

CornerMurphy: kinda ya i think i helped a bit mi not rlly sure

SmartGirl: Peculiar. Well, message us if he’s alright with us coming over or not.

CornerMurphy: i dont think its a good idea tbh,, tell the others when u see em at lunch

SmartGirl: Got it, no visiting.

SmartGirl: Talk to you later then!

CornerMurphy: k ttyl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed it! I'm posting the second one soon!!
> 
> This one and the next we're actually written in the same docs document thing but since it ended up being like over 10 pages in total i split them up. I want to make my goal that every chapter is like 9 pages but if it goes into the 10 pages teritorry it's a two chapter thing.  
> And I tried to add that small sprinkle of "angst". I also btw will use the characters to vent my frustrations but will still remain in character tho!  
> I think Alana is the kind of gal to always wish a good morning to everyone first and remind them of breakfast and to take care of themselves. (I'm that kind of gal and I think it fits her)  
> I will also elaborate on Evan's dad soon enough, since I want to add some angst with that dude.  
> I hope these chapters are ok. I'm posting the next one soon!


	3. Sexuality is a thing wow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan is feeling better(kinda), Connor is a Chef TM and sexualities are discussed. Also who is Evan crushing on?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *says they will post the chapter soon but gets occupied with other stuff*  
> fuck.
> 
> But hey! The third chapter is up! I will upload again in a few more days and As I said I will either post one big chapter or end up splitting them into two.  
> I hope you guys enjoy this chapter as well!
> 
> Edits: I deleted a huge space between Zoe saying You have a point there :///and Evans message  
> I have also changed A message from Connor that first said 'When can be homosexual together' and tbh that is a MOOD.  
> I have AGAIN had to change a message this time from Zoe : 'you are deserved to be loved' It just isn't right.

Group chat created by OffendedBoi

OffendedBoi: are any of yall even alive

OffendedBoi: its already like 7 pm smh

TheBetterMurphy: If you stop using y’all sure

OffendedBoi: no

TreeFucker69: You tried.

TheBetterMurphy: Evan!!!! How are you feeling? Any better?

OffendedBoi: EVAN MY BOI u alright

TreeFucker69: Hi guys, I’m feeling a better, a little tired, but I’m getting there.

TreeFucker69: At least I don’t feel like the world is going to end anytime soon!

OffendedBoi: n i c e

TheShittyMurphy: jared shut the fuck up

OffendedBoi: yeah ok sorry

NiceSmartAss: Anyway.

NiceSmartAss: Have you eaten anything? If not I will make my personal mission to deck Connor.

TheBetterMurphy: Have you e a t e n y e t?

TheShittyMurphy: …

TheShittyMurphy: was that

TheShittyMurphy: was that a fuckign msytic messenger reference

TheBetterMurphy: No

TheBetterMurphy: WAIT 

TheBetterMurphy: HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT IT

TheShittyMurphy: ssSSHhHhhhHHHHHHHH U KNOW NOTHING

TheBetterMurphy: IM WHEEZING DO YOU PLAY THE GAME???

TheShittyMurphy: THIS IS A CONVO FOR ANOTHER DAY

TreeFucker69: Should we be worried?

TheShittyMurphy: n o

OffendedBoi: wait are yALL TALKING ABOUT THAT OTOME GAME OR SMTH

TheShittyMurphy: NO WE ARE N O T ASFKHAKDHFL

TheBetterMurphy: YES WE ARE OMG I CAN’T

NiceSmartAss: Guys!!!!!

OffendedBoi: ya ok lmao

TheShittyMurphy: WELL back to alanas messsage

TheShittyMurphy: since when are u so freaking violent

TheShittyMurphy: i made him some pasta and he ate like two plates of it

TreeFucker69: His cooking is so delicious??? I can’t believe I have lived without it until now.

TreeFucker69: Like I don’t know whether you or mom cooks better.

TheShittyMurphy: asdfgh i feel flattered thx

TheBetterMurphy: Dude it’s seriously so much better that what our mom cooks, why won’t you cook anymore??

TheShittyMurphy: Larry

TheBetterMurphy: Fucking Larry

NiceSmartAss: I need to try your cooking once! I can’t believe you never told me about that.

TreeFucker69: He never told ME and I am his best friend!!!

OffendedBoi: how abt me????

TheShittyMurphy: Perish.

OffendedBoi: fair enough

OffendedBoi: but like

OffendedBoi changed TheShittyMurphy to MasterioChefio

MasterioChefio: what the FUCK

TheBetterMurphy: MASTERIO CHEFIO I’M DYING

OffendedBoi: MasterChef felt too bland and since we just love dem memes I had to add those

NiceSmartAss: Ah yes the memeios, of course.

TheBetterMurphy: MEMIOS

MasterioChefio: LMA O

TreeFucker69: Guys

TreeFucker69: Guys

TreeFucker69: It’s time to s t o p i o.

OffendedBoi: ASJHDKJASHLJ EVAN MY BOIO

TheBetterMurphy: NOT HIM AS WELL OMFG

MasterioChefio changed TreeFucker69 to FilthyioEvanio

MasterioChefio: J O I N M E

FilthyioEvanio: I will gladly join you.

MasterioChefio: n i c e lets go on an adventure!!!!!!!!!

TheBetterMurphy: Please don’t use !!!! It seriously doesn’t suit you

NiceSmartAss: I have a deja vu feeling. Is it just me?

MasterioChefio: you kikked jarod from the gc yesterdasy cause he was using :3

TheBetterMurphy: KIKKED

OffendedBoi: JAROD ASDFGHJ

NiceSmartAss: Yesterdasy- that sounds so cute I have no idea why.

FilthyioEvan: Leave Connor alone!!!!

OffendedBoi: standing up for ur bf??

OffendedBoi: that is so gay

FilthyioEvan: JAROD S T O P.

MasterioChefio: u jealous???

OffendedBoi: B A R F HELL NAH

OffendedBoi: i have my bath bombs for now thank you very much

MasterioChefio changed OffendedBoi to Jarod

Jarod: wow ok thank you

MasterioChefio: np bb

Jarod: E W IM PANSEXUAL

MasterioChefio: and im gay???? whats ur deal???

TheBetterMurphy: You are gay??? Since when??

MasterioChefio: damn idk since i could breath?

Jarod: im actually more of a grey ace pansexual tho

Jarod: but would rather have a bf than a gf

TheBetterMurphy: I think I’m a lesbian

MasterioChefio: u think?

TheBetterMurphy:Well tbh I REALLY like girls

TheBetterMurphy: And would totally date them

TheBetterMurphy: But boys are also hot? I guess?

NiceSmartAss: Well, would you like to date boys?

TheBetterMurphy: Tbh no.

FilthyioEvanio: You are maybe experiencing compulsory heterosexuality.

FilthyioEvanio: It’s when you think you might be straight because of society or pressure. I think.

TheBetterMurphy: Maybe I’m bi?

MasterioChefio: ur definetily a lesbian tbh 

TheBetterMurphy: And how would you know???

MasterioChefio: when we were younger u wold be like ‘a prince sounds cool but id rather be saved by a princess’

NiceSmartAss: That is so Cute I can’t.

TheBetterMurphy: You have a point there :////

FilthyioEvanio: I hope we heleped you a little!

FilthyioEvanio: Helped*

FilthyioEvanio: How about you Alana?

NiceSmartAss: Oh, me? 

NiceSmartAss: I’m a raging lesbian actually.

MasterioChefio: n i c e we can be homosexuals together

TheBetterMurphy: What about you Evan?

Jarod: dont tell me you arent straight

FilthyioEvanio: I’m actually bi…

Jarod: AND U NEVER TOLD ME????

FilthyioEvan: WELL, I’m biromantic demisexual

FilthyioEvanio: I crush really easily on people, Zoe being the best example, but with sex… You get the picture.

TheBetterMurphy changed their name to TheLoveInterest

FilthyioEvanio: Pretty much.

TheLoveInterest: I remember when I found out you were crushing on me

TheLoveInterest: And I tried so hard to like you back because you are just a precious boy and you deserve to be loved

TheLoveInterest: It was awkward tho lol

FilthyioEvanio: Haha… yeah. But I got over you very fast since it was more of a fleeting crush and realised that I also just really likeeeeeeee

FilthyioEvan: WOHOHO, I’m NOT finishing THAT sentence.

Jarod: NO MY BOY CONTINUE THAT SENTENCE

TheLoveInterest: WHO IS THE NEW LOVE INTEREST?????

NiceSmartAss: You shouldn’t be embarrassed if you are! We all just came out so a crush won’t be that hard.

FilthyioEvanio: Well… It’s more than a crush at this point, but i’d rather not, sorry.

MasterioChefio: its ok my dude

MasterioChefio: take ur tme

FilthyioEvanio: Hah, thanks…

 

Private chat between Evangreen and Conman

Conman: u know u will have to tell me the lucky guy or gal that has ur heart right?

Evangreen: …

Evangreen: Of course, don’t worry. Just need some more time I guess?

Conman: its ok my friendio

Evangreen: I hope it will be....

Conman: wot??

Evangreen: Nothing!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was it ok? Good? Beautiful? Spectacular? Probably not.  
> Again, sorry for the "lateness" of this chapter, I ended up feeling sick, lazing out because life is shit and now my dad is over and I am craving some of that dad-daughter time tbh.  
> And yes Connor is spectacular at cooking but he is also an artist(yall will read abt it in future chapters) and it's some self-projecting kinda since I love to cook actually but my family kinda ugh. Jut ugh tbh.  
> Also the thing with Zoe being confused whether or not she's a lesbian- I'm projecting here as well. Due to the pressure of having a boyfriend or husband(i grimaced and felt sick writing that seriously) from my country and the whole family has been making me doubt myself all the time. Some days I feel confident about it but some days I seriously question my sexuality for the remaining of the day and just end up having a bad day. It's shitty but oh well.
> 
> I'm leaving it here since I want to spend some more time with my dad so I hope you guys enjoyed it!
> 
> Have a great day/evening!


	4. That's so Lesbian.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared swapped his phone, he isn't feeling well either. Also Zoe and Alana are LesbiansTM.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys! Cause I am stressing and cannot take care of myself at all I decided to write this chapter today. Was it worth it? For me yeah but not for my health. Do read until the end notes since I have an important question for y'all.  
> Edit: GUYS also about the track team, please do comment if I got things wrong, even if I don't get into details. I'm not from America so yeah.  
> Enjoy!

TheLoveInterest: whats up fuckers?!

Jarod: What are you doing with my phone??

TheLoveInterest: FUCK YOU THATS WHY

MasterioChefio: whot

FilthyioEvanio: Isn’t that a vine

NiceSmartAss: Are you guys ok?

Jarod: Do I look like I’m ok???

NiceSmartAss: Wait is that Zoe?

Jarod: Yeah I somehow have Jareds phone

TheLoveInterest: i swapped them lmao

MasterioChefio: WHY the fucc would u do that???

TheLoveInterest: cause i was bored during lunch today thats why

MasterioChefio: have u looked through it?? tell me uu did

TheLoveInterest: when you will say you like a normal human being

MasterioChefio: no

FilthyioEvanio: You tried.

TheLoveInterest: but u seem to have found my passcode

Jarod: Its literally CRONCH

Jarod: Fucking CRONCH guys

TheLoveInterest: on that note

TheLoveInterest: i licked a bath bomb today

Jarod: You did WHAT?!

FiltyioEvanio: Please tell me you just licked it…

TheLoveInterest: i mean

TheLoveInterest: i licked it with my teeth

MasterioChefio: JESUS JAR ALAKSJDA

Jarod: JESUS JAR OMG

MasterioChefio: STOP BULLYING ME WERE BULLYING JAROD RN

Jarod: YEAH OK

Jarod: BUT WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!

TheLoveInterest: bee-cause the C R O N C H was i r r e s i s t i b l e

FilthyioEvanio: I’m blocking

MasterioChefio: unfollowed blocked reported

MasterioChefio: get r e a dy cause the po po is comind for ur asds

Jarod: TBH MOOD

NiceSmartAss: Well, don’t blame your death on us because it’s your own fault.

Jarod: Imagine how his body feels like

Jarod: “This is the SECOND TIME you ate a bathbomb. What the FUCK is wrong with you”

TheLoveInterest: dont @ me @ at the brain

TheLoveInterest: its the thingymaboby that makes me want to do that

NiceSmartAss: Thingymaboby.

NiceSmartAss: I’m calling my second cat Thingymaboby

TheLoveInterest: this is BULLYING

MasterioChefio: LIVE WITH IT YOU PUSSY

MasterioChefio: but

MasterioChefio: was the c r o n c h really that irresistable or was it the f l a v o r

Jarod: Actually, what scent was it?

FilthyioEvanio: Is this what matters? The Scent? Is this how low our empathy for others has become in this society? In this generation? Is generation Z that apathetic? He might be dying as we are speaking and we wouldn’t know it.

Jarod: I mean you never know. At least his insides will smell nice.

NiceSmartAss: Christ, Zoe.

TheLoveInterest: it was the cheer up buttercup one im pretty sure from lush

TheLoveInterest: cause i need some cheering up in my life hah

 

MasterioChefio: dude you alright?

FilthyioEvanio: Jared?? Do you want to talk??

TheLoveInterest: bruh this isnt my phone i would rather talk on my own

Jarod: WAIT now that we are on this topic

TheLoveInterest: thanks

Jarod: Np bb

MasterioChefio: we will let it slide for now

Jarod: Ok but like

Jarod: How do you know my passcode though????

Jarod: We’re like best friends and stuff but I never told you

TheLoveInterest: its very simple duh

TheLoveInterest: since i know u so well

TheLoveInterest: its alanas bday

Jarod: YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO TYPE THAT

MasterioChefio: thats so gay o mg

NiceSmartAss: …

NiceSmartAss: You use my birthday as your passcode?

Jarod: I mean… yeah

Jarod: Sorry if it’s creepy? I’ll just leave this convo now

NiceSmartAss: NO WAIT! IT’S ACTUALLY VERY SWEET!

NiceSmartAss changed their name to FlusteredLesbian

FlusteredLesbian: I, ahem, also have your birthday as my passcode actually…

TheLoveInterest: BARF yall are so gay

TheLoveInterest: now i know your passcode as well

FlusteredLesbian: Zoe?

MasterioChefio: @alana come at our place rn zoe is too giddy to even type back

MasterioChefio: i can hear her fucking squeal scream from my room

FlusteredLesbian: I’ll be there in 4 minutes.

MasterioChefio: xtra luck cause mom and larry arent home

FilthyioEvanio: Doesn't she live like 10 minutes from them though?

TheLoveInterest: dont question the power of love mah dude

TheLoveInterest: especially if its gay

MasterioChefio: but like dudes

MasterioChefio: alana is in the track tema with me tho

FilthyioEvanio: Wait, really?

TheLoveInterest: lmao how do they keep u on the team if u skip school so often??

MasterioChefio: its bc i go to most of the practices and the meets or smth

MasterioChefio: and im a good runnerso like the coahcs fine w it

MasterioChefio: n i genuenly enjoy it especilaly cause the coachs nice and running makes me not think abt shit

FilthyioEvanio: I’m not surprised you are on the track team actually since you do have long legs and can outrun most of us.

MasterioChefio: i cant outrun alana tho but ive only did that once and it was a day where alana wasnt as ok as usual

MasterioChefio: its like my goal to outrun her a few times prefereably when shes in best condition

TheLoveInterest: thats actually kinda cool

MasterioChefio: alana just arrived can i come to one of ur places

MasterioChefio: i dont want to listen to them fuckingd bth

TheLoveInterest: but its good blackmail material

MasterioChefio: ya but still

MasterioChefio: i do know when someone needs privacy

MasterioChefio: actually hav u looked thorugh her phone?? Ill kicc ur ass if u did

TheLoveInterest: nah dude im not that big of an asshole for fucks sake

MasterioChefio: yet u can make school shooter jokes at me?

TheLoveInterest: ive apologised havent i?

MasterioChefio: yeah but still

MasterioChefio: ev?

FilthyioEvanio: You can’t to my place sadly, I’m half-way grounded.

TheLoveInterest: half way grounded?? what??

MasterioChefio: what in the nation does it mean

TheLoveInterest: omg

MasterioChefio: shut4re tupw

FilthyioEvanio: It’s just that I can’t have anyone home for some reason, I don’t know.

MasterioChefio: nah its aight dude next time 

TheLoveInterest: @connor and evan come to my place then

MasterioChefio: y tho

TheLoveInterest: well first of all yall cant go to your place since alana and zoe are probably fuccking

MasterioChefio: i dont wanna get traumatized even more so i wont even check

TheLoveInterest: and ive got beer and video games

TheLoveInterest: more specifically amr and far cry 5

MasterioChefio: b there in 1

FilthyioEvanio: Can you come and pick me up as well?

FilthyioEvanio: I’ve also got a huge stack of chocolate if you guys want it.

TheLoveInterest: ya got oreos?

FilthioEvanio: Of course? Is that even a question?

MasterioChefio: im outside ur palce ev

FilthyioEvanio: I’m coming. See ya Jared.

TheLoveInterest: cya

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was it funny? Maybe a little bit? I hope it was!  
> But anyway, Alana and Zoe got together!! Finally!! Tree bros are next, maybe in a few chapters. Also, I'm slowly making Jared open up about his own issues because there isn't a single person in the entire musical without Issues TM. And the important question!!  
> I have plans for the next chapter but I don't know which one I should continue with. I would like to try and make the next chapter about the hang out the guys had and maybe(MAYBE) a confession scene TM for the girls because yes. But I'm afraid it could ruin for some of you guys? There is also the option of just making a few chats that sum up the hangout and the confession scene between friends and stuff. Comment if it with which one you would think is best! I will maybe wait until like the 21st? or Friday since I have A LOT of freaking stuff to do(i have to finish 4 projects for Thursday and make two more paintings and i c a n t).  
> And also yes I did search up bath bombs and I love them tbh. The Lush store is the best TM.  
> AND Zoe and Jared being Friends TM I love that tbh.
> 
> Have a nice day/evening!


	5. Saturday morning and Private chats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the morning after Friday where the gals got together and the boys hung out. And what about Connor and Jared?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FUCK GUYS TWO WEEKS LATER IM SO SORRY.  
> ILL EXPLAIN AT THE END OF THE CHAPTER SOME STUFF.  
> Evan: FilthyioEvanio  
> Connor: MasterioChefio/CONNfunded  
> Jared: TheLoveInterest/JaredIsTheBest/SoreMcFuckingLoser/Jorts  
> Zoe: Jarod/ZoeButJaredsPhone  
> Alana: FlusteredLesbian  
> (I forgot to put these last chapters asdasda)
> 
> Enjoy!

Jarod: Y’all got not sense of self preservation huh

TheLoveInterest: what can we say we were just a couple of dudes trying to play video games while d r u n k

TheLoveInterest: just a couple of dudes being guys

MasterioChefio: just a couple of gusyds being dudds

TheLoveInterest: just a ccouple of dudes being gay

MasterioChefio: shoiw me ur dick steve

Jarod: KJBASLJHDAKJLS

FilthyioEvanio: It’s time to S T O P.

Jarod: Sometimes I can only think of that vine with the guy that says Why

FilthyioEvanio: I feel the same.

Flustered Lesbian: Are you guys serious.

FlusteredLesbian: At this hour in the morning. On the freaking weekend.

MasterioChefio: ye whtf zoe i was trying not to diee nhow dare u

FilthyioEvanio: Are you ok??

MasterioChefio: come ineto ther bathroom i think im going to throw reup

TheLoveInterest: are you at evans place??

FlusteredLesbian: Can you guys change your usernames so we know who is who? It’s still too early for the weekend.

Jarod: Jeez babe sometimes I forget that you don’t wake up in the weekends until like 1

TheLoveInterest: BARF yall are too gay for me

Jarod changed their name to ZoeButJaredsPhone

TheLoveInterest changed their name to JaredIsTheBest

ZoeButJaredsPhone: Seriously 

JaredIsTheBest: yeah

FilthyioEvanio: I’m so happy for you guys!!! Jared you owe me 20.

JaredIsTheBest: fuck i thought u forgot about it

ZoeButJaredsPhone: Yo is Connor better??

FilthyioEvanio: Yeah, just gave him some meds and he’s in my bedroom

MasterioChefio: if i dont message it means that ive fallen allslep

FlusteredLesbian: Ok but.

FlusteredLesbian: What were Jared and Ev talking about?

JaredIsTheBest: we made a bet for when u guys will get together

JaredIsTheBest: I said yall are getting together in like the last few months of senior year

FilthyioEvanio: I said you guys will get together before Halloween.

JaredIsTheBest: yeah fuck you

MasterioChefio changed JaredIsTheBest to SoreMcFuckingLoser

SoreMcFuckingLoser: are you fucking kidding me adsfgh

MasterioChefio: i was smart enough not to participate cuase i dont like bets 

MasterioChefio: tho great job sis u got the girl

MasterioChefio: alana i hope u will take good care or i will kill you : )

FlusteredLesbian: I know… we had this conversation way too many times.

ZoeButJaredsPhone: Wait really??? Since when???

MasterioChefio: since i sniffed out alans crushn on uu

FlusteredLesbian: I will take care of her don’t worry.

SoreMcFuckingLoser: i just realized that Im the only one that isnt currently gay for someone f u c c

FilthyioEvanio: Wait, is Connor crushing on someone??

SoreMcFuckingLoser: he probably does? Who knows

SoreMcFuckingLoser: what matters is that I DONT have someone to be gay for and i dont like it

 

Private chat between CONNfunded and Jorts

Jorts: I know its Evan btw

CONNfunded: what?

Jorts: your crush

Jorts: Im not blind you know

CONNfunded: fuck i swear to fucking god kleinman that if you tell him im going to fucking kill you

Jorts: dude look I am not going to tell him

Jorts: but we need to talk about it

CONNfunded: what do we need to talk about? U fucking fdound out im frseking gay for ev whats there emore t o talk about

Jorts: I just want to make sure that you are not going to hurt him

CONNfunded: what? since when did u care??

Jorts: look i know I act like an asshole sometimes

CONNfunded: most of the time

Jorts: well yeah but ev is like my goddamn childhood friend

Jorts: I dont want him to get by you as you are very fucking important to him

Jorts: I know its seriously not my place to tell but I know that none of u would confess to one another

Jorts: but Ev likes you and what do I know I think I could call it love at this fucking point

Jorts: so what Im telling you is just dont fucking hurt him and play with his emotions

Jorts: I will make sure to make the remaining of this last year hell on earth for you at school

CONNfunded: …

CONNfunded: jesus christ kleinman you surprisee me s omuch sometimes

Jorts: well I guess thats my job huh

CONNfunded: how did u realise tho

Jorts: well I had my sneaking suspicions from the start when I would see you guys hang out together and when evan described u the first time during the summer

Jorts: I just felt how gay he was towards you though I still thought he was straight because of his crush on Zoe

Jorts: and I really came to term with you also liking evan when we were hanging out yesterday actually

Jorts: I just saw how fucking soft you were with him and just how u looked at him

Jorts: like he was the sun for u something u needed to survive because without him ur life would be just dark or some shit

Jorts: it sounds fucking poetic and its fucking g r o s s

CONNfunded: omfg

CONNfunded: is it rlly that obvious

Jorts: well kinda but someone would have to know u good and really observe u to realise that

CONNfunded: jesus christ i cant belive evann likes me back

CONNfunded: g o d loves me even

Jorts: BARF be gay somewhere else

CONNfunded: but then when u will hav e agay crush on a guy who will u ramble to

Jorts: fair point

CONNfunded: but you know… evan doesnt rlly see u as a childhoodsdfriend

Jorts: he doesnt?

CONNfunded: no??? youo literally twell him that hes ur familly frend like most of the time

CONNfunded: i dont think ur really friends with him tbh

Jorts: …

Jorts: well fuck it isnt supposed to be like that

CONNfunded: you will have to sort that out with evangreen 

Jorts: I think I will

Jorts: soon enough i supposed

CONNfunded: u better do it bfr halloween, cause u have only two weeks left

Jorts: yeah yeah calm ur shit

CONNfunded: no

Jorts: I tried

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI HELLO SO IT HAS BEEN LIKE TWO WEEKS AND IM SORRY  
> MY LAST WEEK OF SCHOOL WAS JUST STRESSFUL FOR ME! And I got the Summer vacation this Friday!! Now I have a lot more free time.  
> I don't guarantee that the updates will stay once a week though I will try my hardest, as my parents always take my stuff sometimes for no reasons.  
> SO to clarify some things of the 'plot':  
> Evan and Connor met during the summer. It was when Evan fell from the tree and Connor spotted him. It was also the day that Connor almost killed himself here. They ended up still talking after the incident and then the other three got caught into this and their group was made by the start of their senior year. I might actually start a new fanfiction as a prequel to this fanfiction or smth.  
> BUT other things I might write related to this is the hangout and the confession for the girls. I feel like I need to make them justice.
> 
> I've been feeling sick recently and just shitty but my friends are helping me stay grounded and sane I suppose.
> 
> I think that's all for now! Sorry if I don't make any sense, I've only gotten two or one hours of sleep from 9 till like 11 am since I just hung out all night with a dear friend of mine. I will maybe edit some stuff when I am not as sleep deprived as I have been this past week.
> 
> Have a great day/evening!


	6. Harry Potter Houses and traits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Talking about their houses can help them learn more about themselves, huh?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read until the end to the chapter notes, thank you : )

ZoeButJaredsPhone: fucking FINALLY I have my phone back

SoreMcFuckingLoser: And who’s fault was that?

ZoeButJaredsPhone: um I have done nothing wrong ever in my entire life

SoreMcFuckingLoser: We know that but we still hate you

MasterioChefio: FJDBFIDASSFD

FilthyioEvanio: I mean, you’re not wrong…

ZoeButJaredsPhone: I TRUSTED YOU

FilthyioEvanio: I’m a Slytherin… That was a bad idea.

SoreMcFuckingLoser: You’re a WHAT

FlusteredLesbian: Omfg, guys change your names quick though so we know who is who.

SoreMcFuckingLoser changed their name to Zoeology

ZoeButJaredsPhone changed their name to BathBombEater

Zoeology: Is that a reference to it seriously

BathBombEater: hmmm is it??? Idk maybe? you will never find out

MasterioChefio: well eithere way for both of u ur naems are shit

Zoeology: Oh fuck off

MasterioChefio: oh fuck you

BathBombEater: shes got alana for that

Zoeology: JARED 

FlusteredLesbian: I mean,

FlusteredLesbian: He’s not wrong.

Zoeology: BABE NO

FlusteredLesbian: Babe yes.

BathBombEater: I FUCKING KNEW IT UR FUCKING

Zoeology: BUT GUYS! Back on track.

Zoeology: Our pure Evan? A Slytherin?

FlusteredLesbian: It sounds so wrong to be frankly honest.

MasterioChefio: i c an confirmm this because he is indeed aslytherin

MasterioChefio: i am stillr ecovering from this sh00keningg info

BathBombEater: BS did u take the Time test or some shit since that sees to be more accurate than the pottermore one tbh

Zoeology: Then what house are you? You never actually told me which I'm mad about

BathBombEater: …

BathBombEater: Ravenclaw

MasterioChefio: what

FlusteredLesbian: What

FilthyioEvanio: W h a t

Zoeology: W H A T

MasterioChefio: YOU A RAVENCLAW

MasterioChefio: LM AO IN MY DREAMS

BathBombEater: this is BULLYING ASDFGH

Zoelogy: I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS OMG

FlusteredLesbian: It’s so much more disturbing than Evan being a Slytherin

MasterioChefio: but it actually isnt s ince he does fit in teh hosue really well

BathBombEater: in the hp wikia it says that slytherins traits are

BathBombEater: resourcefulness

BathBombEater: cunning

BathBombEater: ambition

BathBombEater: determination

BathBombEater: self-preservation

BathBombEater: fraternity

BathBombEater: cleverness

BathBombEater: bitch where???

MasterioChefio: if u actually fuking knew hi m then u wpuldnt comment jared

BathBombEater: …

BathBombEater: whatever 

Zoeology: But seriously how

MasterioChefio: hes alyingg son of a bitch i tell u that

Zoeology: ALSDASD GOING IN STRONG

MasterioChefio: hes also v clever, is v resourceful and rather determined wehn he wants to be

MasterioChefio: and ofc ambiti ous as hell when needed and very fuxking cunning

FilthyioEvanio: Oh… 

MasterioChefio: that cunning ness can seriosulsy b very bad for u dude tho since u use it when talkinga about ur well being

FilthyioEvanio: Yeah heh, I am working on it

MasterioChefio: u better

FlusteredLesbian changed FilthyioEvanio ‘s name to SlytherinOnTrees

SlytherinOnTrees: Oh ge thanks.

FlusteredLesbian: Np : )

SlytherinOnTrees: Actually guys, in what houses are you in?

BathBombEater: well I am in Ravenclaw i suppose

FlusteredLesbian: But why is that?

Zoeology: I will explain since we’re bros Jared and I took some time to actually see why

BathBombEater: thx bb

Zoeology: Np bb

Zoeology: The traits are 

Zoeology:Intelligence

Zoeology:Wit

Zoeology:Wisdom

Zoeology:Creativity

Zoeology:Originality

Zoeology:Individuality

Zoeology:Acceptance

Zoeology: He is actually very freaking smart, he is witty and actually has wisdom to share in dire situations

Zoeology: Fucking creative, I mean have you seen his game ideas and graphic designs?? That is also where the originality comes from tbh

Zoeology: And also is very distinguishable from other people since of his humour and funny-but-assholeish-and-friendly personality

BathBombEater: what abt acceptance dude

MasterioChefio: lm ao ur not so accepting dude

Zoeology: Yeah, you have the problem of being way to cruel when some things change and you don’t like them

BathBombEater: that charater development will hit me some day

SlytherinOnTress: I hope soon.

BathBombEater changed their name to RavenClawingYourEyes

MasterioChefio: mood

MasterioChefio: im actually in hufflepuff though

SlytherinOnTrees: Blackmail material.

MasterioChefio: ASDFLKJAALKSJDLKA

MasterioChefio: U ALREADY KNEW THAT

SlytherinOnTrees: Still.

FlusteredLesbian: Oh my! Me too actually!!

RavenClawingYourEyes: oh goddamit I thought u would also be a Ravenclaw

Zoeology: I have to say that me too omg

FlusteredLesbian: Haha, me too but it seems that it’s not the case.

FlusteredLesbian: Though I have to say that I am not surprised that Connor is also one.

Zoeology: Siriusly??

SlytherinOnTrees: …

FlusteredLesbian: …

FlusteredLesbian kicked Zoeology from the group chat

RavenClawingYourEyes: KSJHAKJDAJ

MasterioChefio: I AM DYINGALSDJLAKJSDLA

SlytherinOnTrees added ZoeMurphy

ZoeMurphy: The Loss meme but the girl is My faith in my girlfriend

SlyterinOnTrees: BACK ON TRACK!

SlytherinOnTrees: These two are some of the most patient people I know and truly hardworking. They pretty much embody Hufflepuff but with Anxiety and Depression version.

MasterioChefio: TBH

ZoeMurphy changed MasterioChefio’s name to HufflePuffinWeed

ZoeMurphy changed FlusteredLesbian’s name to HufflingAroundBooks

HufflingAroundBooks: Aw, this is so cute thank you!

HufflePuffinWeed: ur not wrong alskhdla

SlytherinOnTrees: What about you Zoe?

ZoeMurphy: Take a guess

RavenClawingYourEyes: Gryffindor??

ZoeMurphy: Yeah actually

SlytherinOnTrees: Not that surprising.

HufflingAroundBooks: True, you also are Gryffindor through and through.

HufflingAroundBooks: Except the chivalry.

ZoeMurphy: Only to girls tbh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Important stuff first.
> 
> For more than two weeks I haven't posted and I sincerely regret this. I thought that when we enter the summer I will be able to be freer and do things I enjoy and that seriously isn't the case which I hate. I have been grounded ever since the start of this month due to some petty shit that has affected my self-esteem, I haven't been able to be on my electronics almost at all and I barely got to spend time with my friends and it has taken a greater toll on me that school ever did (And my mental health is taking a horrible turn due to stress and just shitty stuff). But when I got my laptop or phone I tried to catch up to what was happening such as watch playthroughs of Detroit become human(which I obsessed with and I might do a little fic soon, prob one like this ofc) and I couldn't get myself to write this chapter. What is even worse is that I'm sneaking on my kinda broken laptop rn at 3 am trying to do something. I have also almost given up since the z x c v m , . keys don't work on this one and I almost started crying multiple times.
> 
> On the fic tho! Since it's hard to write I decided to do a Hogwarts houses chapter where I could also do some character analysis I suppose? It was fun and I actually feel proud of the things(and this chapter was 6 pages on docs) I have thought about for this. It has given me a chance to try and get to know and develop the characters more. When I will come out with a new chapter I will probably change quite a few things in this chapter, but if not I will just say in the notes. I have given up on expanding some jokes due to my tiredness atm, so I will do something I hope  
> And sorry how it ended just there, way too done and tired.
> 
> What is your opinion on this? Any criticism? Do comment about it!  
> Have a great day/evening!


	7. Oh no, Jared you dumbass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared and Evan hang out, which doesn't go right, aaaaand that's it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... hahahahahahahahhahahhhahaha laughing my fucking ass off hahahahahahahhahahahah  
> Three(four??) months!!! What in the actual fuck Evan? You might be asking.  
> You said you won't leave this fic!! You might think.  
> Well GUESS WHAT I DINDT KAJSDHL
> 
> I don't really like it when fics remain unfinished or cancelled(but I understand that it isn't easy((now from experience)) to always keep shit going) so I do want to make this fic until... lets say the end of the summer before college for these guys(gays) as I am also kind of in HighSchool But This Isn't Technically Highschool In Denmark so.  
> ALSO?! 1000 AND SOMETHING HITS?? MORE THAN 100 KUDOS??? IM SO HAPPY GUYS!!  
> Thanks to all of the ones who have commented(to some I haven'tr responded,and I am sorry dudes) and to the ones that bookmarked it!! I hope you guys are happy i fucking updated for once lmao. I appreciate every single one of you! Seriously!  
> I'm going to talk some more at the end notes... so Enjoy!!!

Zoeology changed their name to OpeningTheGryffinDoor

OpeningTheGryffinDoor: I felt left out after that convo Jesus

OpeningTheGryffinDoor: Also this chat has been dead since the weekend?? Why??

RavenClawingYourEyes: bc we talked at school like nORmAl kIdS dO

HufflePuffinWeed: and we haver all gtten our phones confisctard a t scholl so

OpeningTheGryffinDOOR: Lmao yeah I forgot 

SlytherinOnTrees: Wow Connor, I never knew you used Scholl ://

HufflingAroundBooks: wooow.

HufflePuffinWeed: i kno jr judging me evan but my feet ar e in a horrible condition n ok

SlytherinOnTrees: So... Like your entire body

OpeningTheGryffinDoor: AKDHAL EVAN

OpeningTheGryffinDoor: DON'T BE MEAN

HufflePuffinWeed: alsjdflaksj hes right tho

HufflePuffinWeed: except the hair cause like cmon

HufflePuffinWeed: ive gotr liek thes econd best hair dudje

RavenClawingYourEyes: wait so who has the best hair??

OpeningTheGryffinDoor: Is that even a question?

OpeningTheGryffinDoor: Alanas of course!

HufflePuffinWeed: exactly

HufflingAroundBooks: Aw, thanks guys!

HufflingAroundBooks: ^^

RavenClawingYourEyes: oh also

RavenClawingYourEyes changed HufflePuffinWeed to dudje

dudje: safgf fuckigjnx really

RavenClawingYourEyes: yeah fuckigjnx really

OpeningTheGryffinDoor: That took… and oddly long time for you to send

RavenClawingYourEyes: ya but it was hard to copy that typo

dudje changed RavenClawingYourEyes to Jarod

Jarod: wow thats fucking old

dudje: too bad butch u sujffer

OpeningTheGryffinDoor: Butch

HufflinAroundBooks: Butch.

SlytherinOnTrees: Butch.

Jarod: butch

Jarod changed their name to butch

dudje: bullying in the holy ear of 20gay teen??sh00k

SlytherinOnTrees: Ear.

dudje: AKJSDA ST OP

HufflinArounBooks: no

butch: kasjhfkajKJHASKJD YESS

OpeningTheGryffinDoor: YES!! YOU FINALLY SAID IT!!

HufflinAroundBooks: : )

Butch changed HufflinAroundBooks to MemeQueen

MemeQueen: It’s a bit too much but thank you anyway!

 

Private Chat between JordanJorts and Acorn

JordanJorts: yo ev u wanna hang out

Acorn: Sorry I can’t, I have homework to do for tomorrow.

JordanJorts: u can do ur homework here tho

JordanJorts: ive got mountain dew as well?

Acorn: …

Acorn: I will be there in 2 minutes.

JordanJorts: nice

 

Private Chat between Evangreen and Conman

Evangreen: Hey can you come and get me please

Conman: k but u alright? what happened dudje

Evangreen: I’m jsut SO tired of Jared! Like for years he has made fun of me, mocked me, fucking tripped me just fucking bullied me!! And today after we were hanging out at his place, shocker right, he was asking me if I see him as his best friend? What the fuck? I couldn’t control my anger adn snapped at him and now I’m sobbing and having a n anxiety attack and I just wanna escape please help

Conman: ev ev its ok ur going to be ok

Conman: us the breathing excercise we always do together

Evangree: Well it’s harder without you since you’re always ther e fo rm e bu t yeah ok 

Conman: where are u

Evangreen: The p arking lot of o ur school

Conman: shit ill be thre in 2 minutes

Evangreen: Th ank s

 

Private Chat between JordanJorts and Acorn

JordanJorts: shit evan im sorry i shouldve been a better person and friend

JordanJorts: i fucked up im sorry

JordanJorts: shit evan????

JordanJorts: hello?  
_Message was unable to send_

JordanJorts: you seriously blocked me??  
_Message was unable to send_

JordanJorts: FINE ill message your fucking boyfriend then  
_Message was unable to send_

 

Private Chat between Jaredy and Connory

Jaredy: dude is evan with you

Jaredy: i know he is

Jaredy: for FUCKS sake connor answer! dont leave me on read

Connory: what the fuck do u want

Jaredy: i want to apologize to him can i just talk to him??

Connory: fucking hell jared no

Connory: look u really pissed him off with his shit and u also asked him abt it fucking badly

Connory: “im ur best friend right?” shit dude really

Connory: i told you to talk to him abt this but not in this fucking way

Connory: u know all the shit uve done to him and im mad that u indeed think of urself as his best friend

Connory: when u damn well know u arent

Connory: just let him be for a while ok

Jaredy: yeah ok just tell him to message me please

Connory: wahtevr 

 

Private Chat between Zozo and JaJa

Zozo: Dude you alright?? You haven’t spammed me with memes like at all today

Zozo: Jared???

Jaja: yeah sorry sorry just

Jaja: i fucked up

Zozo: What now? Is it about Evan by any chance

Jaja: yeah??? how do you know??

Zozo: Connor came in with a crying Evan and I could see that he wasn’t crying because of him…

Jaja: and you immediately thought it was me?? Really??

Zozo: I also asked him if he wants to hang out but he told me he is going to you so

Jaja: oh ok

Jaja: ill tell you later...about it

Zozo: Sure

 

Group chat

MemeQueen changed their name to Alana

OpeningTheGryffinDoor changed their name to Zoe

Zoe: This is better 

Alana: Yeah.

Alana: It has been very silent here today. Is everything alright?

dudje: kinda yeah

Alana: Hm. Worried.

butch: i jsut fucked up but its alright i think

SlytherinOnTrees changed their name to Evan

Evan: It’s alright, I calmed down.

butch: thank goodness

butch changed their name to Jared

dudje: yall are ,,, boring wtf

Jared: shut up UwU

dudje: …

dudje left the group chat

Zoe: Oh my God he fucking dead

Alana: There’s only one thing worse than a vine

Jared: an instagram “comedy” video

Zoe: AKJSDHKAJ

Alana: That’s… now wrong at all.

Evan: Is no one adding Connor back?

Zoe: nah

Evan: Christ

Evan: Merry crisis I guess.

Jared: HALLOWEEN IS IN A WEEK SHUT UP

Evan: no

Evan added ConnorMurphy

ConnorMurphy changed their name to Connor

Connor: ur mom

Jared: oh my gOD

Zoe: This is turning into a fucking mess oh my GOD. Let’s stop this chapter

Alana: What?

Connor: i swear i will kermit suicide if u say shit like that again

Connor: WE NEED THIS TO BE LONGER

Evan: ???

Jared: what in nation

Zoe: LET’S END THIS PLEASE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my God three months?? I am so sorry dudes.
> 
> As I said this fic will not be cancelled unless there is something massive happening in my life and for now it's ok.
> 
> I wanted to finish this chapter today to cope with the fact that yesterday when I came back from Copenhagen I lost my phone!! And had a meltdown as I realised how much stuff I actually have on it! I also haD my ID with credit card IN THE COVER, so maybe hopefully someone is kind enough to fucking return it yay.
> 
> Also! School has been horrible. Like really bad. I've missed a lot of it due to the fact that I'm so stressed out!!! And I¨ve got so much shit to do and shit I want to do but!!! I don't have time! In this week before the vacation, I will have at school I am dedicating it to fanart and fanfiction bc fuck it I'm done asdfgh
> 
> (sorry if it isn't as long but uhhhh yeah)
> 
> So yeah! Hope this chapter wasn't baaad.  
> Have a good day/evening! Or night! Take care everyone! Until next time :,)


	8. Costumes!! Plus Salt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They talk about their costumes this year, the author is salty and so is Evan still at Jared : )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lads! Long time no read! (omg asdfgh)
> 
> I'm sorry it took so long for this chapter, especially as I wanted to do it a "Halloween special" and stuff but I couldn't find the time lol. I'm getting back to writing DEH so sorry if this chapter feels OOC? Yeah.  
> Also, I am sorry for becoming salty there with dbh I just. Got mad at someone who told me that I "support incest/pedophilic ships" because I ship the two characters you will find out about,,, and yeah what the fuck No. It's because Hank is 53 and Connor is an Android. Who is supposed to be an adult? Hhhhh??? 
> 
> Yeah anyway!  
> Enjoy!

Group Chat

Jared: WHO IS READY FOR HALLOWEEN???

Zoe: ME BITCH

Connor: WOOOOO

Alana: I am!!!

Evan: Sure.

Jared: party pooper

Evan: Fuck off.

Zoe: asjhgajhads holy shit

Alana: Evan? You alright?

Evan: Yes, just still annoyed at him. :)

Connor: lol

Jared: fair enough

Jared changed their name to Bad

Bad: i guess

Evan: Sure.

Zoe: !!!

Zoe: What are you guys going to go as for Halloween?

Alana: I’ll go as Hermione!

Bad: :000

Connor: thats rlly cool afdsgh

Zoe: I’ll be the Ginny to her Hermione as well :,)

Bad: u guys ship them really

Alana: It’s a cute ship! It’s one of my favs actually.

Alana: And I didn’t want to… go as Loony Lovegood.

Evan: She is the best girl, Alana. I will fight you.

Alana: You won’t.

Evan: I won’t. I’m too anxious to do that.

Connor: lmaoo

Zoe: Jared!!!

Bad: Zoe!!!!

Zoe: What are you going as???

Bad: do yall deserve to know who

Evan: Yes?

Connor: ye

Alana: Debatable.

Zoe: I guess?

Bad: asdfgASDFG

Bad: ok but like,,,

Bad: im going as sherlock

Connor: omg

Zoe: I

Zoe: I thought you hated Sherlock

 

Bad: oof well i did

Bad: but my cousin michael forced me to watch it with him

Bad: bc his boyfriend jeremy or something is super into it??? and like yeah

Bad: i watched the bbc one and its,,, good

Bad: approved

Connor: ew

Bad: fuck off

Alana: What about you guys?

Zoe: Is it fandom related???

Evan: It is actually.

Connor: the character im going as ha s my name

Zoe:

Zoe: There are a lot of characters with your name Connor you’re not special,,,

Bad: asdfASDFG

Alana: Oh my.

Connor: yea

Connor: but still

Evan: We are also going… as a ship actually. Kinda.

Alana: Romantic? :,)

Connor: asdfghjklhgfdss

Evan: Well. Yes. But people also view them as a son/father thing…

Zoe: _**Is it Hank and Connor from DBH**_

Alana: What.

Bad: holy shit how did you do that???

Zoe: The author didn’t know to format when they started this fic but she’s debating of using it here as well

Connor: yea they are a d umbass :///

Alana: I.

Bad: what the fuck

Evan: Ignore them, they have been doing this for a while…

Evan: But yeah those two.

Bad: u guys ship them romantically??? really??

Connor: ye uve got a problme u lil shit?

Bad: uh yea??? what the fuck?? thats not ok???

Evan: Why?

Bad: im pretty sure Hank sees Connor,,, as his son dudes,,,,

Connor: you kno that old poeple call younger men son jsut as a nickname of sorts rihgt? they dont rlly mean it in a son way,,,

Connor: our art teacher has called me son multiple times dude

Connor: and when he ssays it,,, they arent the best of friends

Evan: It matters what route you go though.

Connor: ye

Bad: OOF??

Zoe: _**Jared you do know that people can have different opinions right?**_

Bad: Jesus christ stop doing that

Zoe: Oof

Connor: lol the author is realy salty *eye emoji*

Bad: STOP DOING THAT

Alana: Ok, subject change.

Evan: Thank God.

Alana: Is Connor going to be Connor I suppose?

Connor: yup

Connor: the jacket ive ordered is supposed to come like today

Evan: I’m going as Hank.

Zoe: But he’s,,,,

Evan: Old?

Zoe: Yeah?

Evan: I’m a “younger version of him” just so I don’t have to use a wig. Don’t like them very much.

Evan: I’ll get a fake “beard” though.

Connor: just a fe w lines on his face lmao

Evan: ^^

Alana: Are we all going to the Party?

Bad: im totally in

Zoe: I am!

Connor: hhh not sure

Evan: Also me. It doesn’t sound… really appealing.

Connor: rlly

Evan: My anxiety is fucking screaming at me haha.

Zoe: It’ll be fun!! Come on!!

Alana: I will be the designated driver in case everyone wants to drink!

Bad: u dont want to drink?

Alana: I don’t like alcohol. At all. I don’t want to become… like my dad and it’ll fuck up with my medication.^^

Bad: understandable have a nice day

Connor: asdfdg worm

Zoe: So??

Connor: oof maybe,,,

Evan: Gah fine, for once I won’t be the pussy in this relationship

Connor: wha

Evan: I’m going.

Alana: Evan, are you sure? You really don’t have to if you aren’t up for it.

Evan: No, it’s fine. It’s fine.

Evan: I’ll go.

Connor: well shit that means i have to go

Evan: What? No, you don’t have to if you don’t want that.

Alana: Exactly!

Connor: so ur just gonna be hank on ur own? Nuhuh hun

Bad: ADSFGH

Zoe: LMAO OK

Evan: …

Evan: Sure.

Bad: nice ill just get everyone if it is tomorrow attt uhhhh 20

Alana: Sure!

 

Alana: Hey everyone! How would you all feel like going out with our costumes to the centre of the city? There are a few shops and places that give free things or free entrances to those with costumes! And we can also see the different costumes people are wearing!

Zoe: !!!

Zoe: Can we skip school then??

Zoe: If someone asks us why we were out we can literally say that it wasn’t us!!

Connor: omg ur a genius

Zoe: Haha

Zoe: I know : )

Bad: asdfgh

Evan: Sounds like a plan!

Alana: Can’t wait!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked it! Tonight I will come out with another chapter! It's 10:21am asI'm uploading this so^^
> 
> I hope everyone is doing well! I really had fun on Halloween as I went as an android but I also did Connor with that lol. Even if I have more of a Kamski hair actually haha(sorry if any of you got confused with DBH stuff asdf I couldn't resist). Oh well! School is kicking my ass but I'm kicking it back! Trying to get in the groove.
> 
> Have a great day/evening! And even night!


	9. Shit.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Going Downtown. Check.  
> Going to the party. Check.  
> Most of them getting drunk. Check.  
> Evan spilling his secret about letting go instead of falling from the tree to Connor who wasn't aware of it? Che- wait no that's not good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hye Lads B)  
> I said that I would upload this yesterday but it didn't work? And I don't know why???? Oh well  
> Enjoy this short chapter^^
> 
> Uh  
> Enjoy!

Group Chat

Bad: ARE YOU GUYS READY

Zoe: HELL YEAH!!!!

Alana: Yup! You’re going to arrive soon right?

Bad: i mean first ill take evan

Evan: Which will end up in a very awkward ride : )

Bad: then ill get zoe and shit

Zoe: Yea!!

Connor: hey???

Bad: then ill get you!

Alana: Awesome! I will be waiting outside!

Bad: asdfhg yea cya

 

Zoe: Hey dudes where did you three go

Zoe: Me and Alana are by the fountain

Alana: I*

Zoe: Oof babe shut up

Alana: : (

Zoe: Sorry sweetie 

Alana: :3

Zoe: :3

Bad: disgustang

Zoe: Fuck off at least I have someone unlike YOU

Connor: lma o get fuckexd

Evan: All three of us are at the Ice-cream Parlour^^

Zoe: Can you guys come???? Also get us some Ice cream!! Lactose-free one for Alana

Evan: Of course!

 

Bad: yea were on our way oof

 

Bad: so who was the driver again

Alana: It’s me!

Evan: I don’t think I will drink tonight though…

Zoe: Come on, Evan!! Loosen up!!!

Zoe: You will be glued to Connor wont you??

 

Evan: I guess but still?

Bad: yall will be fine trust me

Evan: I won’t trust you Jared.

Bad: yeehaw fair enough

Connor: its ok ev if a dont want to drink its fine

Connor: ill be there oof

Evan: Ok. Ok.

Alana: Are we all ready to go?

Zoe: I am!

Bad: yeah

Connor: hhh ye

Evan: … 

Evan: Yes.

Alana: Alright! Let’s all have fun!

 

 

Connor: hey zoe have you seen evan?

Zoe: eVan n whO?

Connor: are you fcking drunk

Zoe: OFTPTTFT oFc not im Jsut Timpsy

Connor: sure

Zoe: ewll ive seen himn inm prettyh sure he was making uotr withn soemneasfdghj

Connor: what

Connor: zoe what hrte fuck do you mean by that

Connor: ZOE???

 

Private Chat between Connor and Alana

Connor: hey is zoe alright?

Alana: Yes. She just passed out. She is with me though.

Connor: good

Connor: uhhhh

Alana: Would you like to know where Evan is?

Connor: yes please

Alana: Of course.

Alana: Last time we saw him, which wasn’t long time ago was in near the “freak-corner”.

Connor: …

Connor: shit what the fuck

Alana: Yes. Please go and look out for him. And if it is also find Jared? I think it’s time for us to go home.

Connor: yea yeah jsut

Connor: i will be w them in jsut a moment,,

Alana: We will be waiting at Jared's car.

Connor: hhh cool cool

 

Private chat between Evan and Connor

Evan: Youj knwon im niot that drunk

Connor: sure hon whatevr you say

Evan: hehhe hon

Connor: evan sleep i just placed u in ur bed

Evan: hhHHH but I dont wanna!!

Connor: Evan I wll come back and shove cold water on ur face

Evan: hhh no 

Connor: sleep

Evan: fiiiiiineeeeee

 

Evan: im sorry

Connor: for what

Evan: for not being???

Evan: good enough

Connor: what no evan dont say that

Evan: but itss true

Evan: i mean i jsut worry you alll the time

Evan: ive been feeligsn worse every singel day

Evan: who knows maybe illd od something as stupid as jumping from the tree

Connor: jumping? What?

Evan: ooohhgh eahhy i didnt tell you did i

Connor: what didnt you tell me abotu

Connnor: evan

Evan: when i fell out of the tree abck in the summer rihgt

Connor: yes

Evan: i dindt fall

Evan: i let go

Evan: I thought it woudl be high enough to kill wme

Evan: buts i was wrong

Evan: it jsut made me break a limb

 

Evan: haha

Connor: …

Connor: why did you never tell me?

Evan: because i dindt want to worry you with thiss

Evan: its enoguht that yu have yours own suicidal thoguhst u didnt need mine and still dont

Connor: I

Connor: you never told me

Connor: ….

Connor: fuck shit i think im going to cry or vomit

Evan: see thats what i do

Evan: jsut hurt my frineds even if i dont eman it

Evan: i owuld like to say i feel bad but im not sure

Evan: i ht´nk i do

Evan: i dont knwo

Evan: goodnight

 

Connor: ...

Connor: goodnight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was it? Hope it was alright lol. I was too tired to add on more and I think that there is enough in this.  
> Also when I wrote Evans and Connors convo I teared up kinda and felt sick so lol.
> 
> Have a great day/evening! And night!


	10. What

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter... is trying it's best. Everyone isn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me, sweating profusely and ignoring the fact that I haven’t updated in almost a month: haha sup homos- I mean homies. Sorry for the small chap haha- _trips and fanart with Hamilton and DBH come out of my jacket_ I-I can explain.  
>  I am in so many fandoms I love it but also uuuuUUUUUUUUUUUU.  
> Yeah  
> Life has been just, passing by and changing a lot for me. So with this new chapter in my life(honestly I’m starting anew) I’ve decided to stop slacking off and actually write whenever I get the chance-  
> This took me,,, two days to make I don’t so much time as I wish I did huh  
> Life is really changing and I hate it ( :
> 
> UhhhhHHHH Enjoy!

Private Chat between Zoe and Jared

Zoe: hey remember when you told me that you have a hangover cure

Jared: yes why

Zoe: Can I Blease get it I swear ill pay you

Jared: hmmmm the price must be good

Zoe: goddammit I will let you borrow my fucking spiderman comics

Jared: hm accepted

Jared: in just a moment dude

Zoe: Thank

Zoe: Actually where do you have,,, the hangover cure from

Jared sent a photo

[It’s the photo of a piece of paper that has different ingredients and instructions scribbled on it]

Zoe: Thank you again dude

Jared: np

Jared: well i have another cousin her name is veronica right

Zoe: Uhuh

Jared: and her girlfriend? fuckbuddy? not sure told her about it and like she jsut sent it to me just in case lmao

 

Zoe: I just tried it and holy shit disgusting but works

Zoe: Your family sounds pretty gay dude

Jared: it surprisingly is actually

Jared: the gays do flock to one another

Zoe: True

 

Group Chat

Alana: Hehehehehe.

Zoe: Oh Fuck you

Alana: You three decided to get drunk me and Connor are fine.

Zoe: Actually Im fine thank you very much Jared helped

Bad changed their name to Jared

Jared: yup my cousin gave me her girlfriends/fuckbuddys cure and its gross

Jared: but it works so who cares

Jared: wait why are the name so boring…

Zoe: You’re boring

Jared: well fuck you

Zoe: Well fuck you too

Connor: children chil l jesucs christ

Jared: Hes trash

Zoe: I mean Yeah

Alana: Hey where is Evan? He would usually… check his phone in the morning.

Zoe: Idk maybe we will see him at school?

Jared: most likely lmao

Alana: Connor you helped him home last night, whats up?

Alana: Connor?

Zoe: Hes at Evans, right?

 

Connor: im fine jsut

Connor: ill come dw

Zoe: Dont worry??? Are you sure???

Connor: ye

 

Private chat between Alana and Connor

Alana: Hey, what happened?

Alana: You didn’t sound like yourself

Connor: i only sent like 4 messages jfc

Alana: I know you well enough Connor, shut up.

Connor: k

Alana: No, but really what’s up?

Connor: its sjtu

Connor: just uh

Connor: i guess evan told me smth he didnt meant to tell me and uh its jst

Connor: i feel like a terrible friend haha

Alana: Wait, did he tell you he likes you?

Connor: wha

Alana: Oh no nothing dont worry.

Alana: But why? You’re a great friend

Connor: yeah stop ur bullshit this shjust showd that im not

Alana: Connor, listen to me. You might have bad days and all of that where you’re more iritated and shittier than normal but that doesn't make you a bad friend. You're there for us even when you feel like shit and your trying your fucking best to get better.

Connor: oh really

Alana: Yes, really.

Connor: well if im such a good fucking friedn then why didn evan tell me that he fucking tried to kill himself at one point??? Its becasue im a piece of shit oh my god

Alana: Wait.

Alana: What.

 

Connor: shit i wanst suppoedsm to tell you that fuck

 

Alana: Wait no it’s alright I won’t tell anyone, I swear. I understand it’s something personal.

Alana: Christ, Connor.

Alana: Connor?

 

Groupchat

Jared: is it just me or does it feel like shit is going down but we just dont know yet

Zoe: I mean… Evan isnt here today so maybe?

Zoe: I also feel like that hm

Jared: that fucking dicks

Zoe: WHAT

Jared: YOU HEARD ME

Zoe: AKSJDHF FUCKING GAY

Jared: PAN* BUT GO OFF I GUESS

Zoe changed Jared ‘s name to Bitch

Bitch: u know what?

Bitch: fair

Zoe: Asjdhfgjshkas me @ the world

Bitch: SAME

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is all over the place, but! I will try to update this weekend! I'll try heh.
> 
> Have a great day/evening!


	11. Oh my GOD finally?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan is not answering what the hell. Everything is Tense . But hey! Heidi appears wow. and oh my god did Evan jus-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall my wonderful(dumbass) friend realized that the deh novel came out in fucking august sfdlkd i never knew there was going to be a novel abt this wt. I need it - it showsh i havent been in the fandom a lot lol
> 
> Edit:realized i put some nonsense at the start of the chapter alkfjds im cringing)
> 
> ENJOY!!!!

Group chat

Zoe: Hey is everyone alright?

Zoe: Everything just feels so tense

Jared: im ok-ish so depends

Zoe: Everything alright?

Jared: not really my mom is really sick and she Does not want to go to the hospital

Zoe: Well it can just be a cold or the flue?

Jared: not really but today i just realized that hey it cant be just a common cold or smth

Jared: just worried i guess

Jared: u?

Zoe: Im fine I guess? Again just worried about everyone lol

Jared: i get ya

Jared: wait isnt it turkey month

Zoe: Ew

Jared: mood

Jared: now back to our programmed memes

Jared: we Need to bring back Bongo cat

Zoe: Oh my god

Zoe: bLOCKED-

 

Private chat between Connor and Evan

Connor: hey evan u alright

Connor: still didnt see u at school,,, after i left u

Connor: hey its alright if u dont want me to acknowledge wht u said its alright

Connor: evan please talk to me

 

Connor: im sorry

Connor: should i come over again? just left school 

Connor: evan???

Connor: answer or ill call your mom

Connor: im callingher

 

Call between Mothernr2 and Con:D

“Connor? Hi! Is there something worng? You don’t usually call me.”

“Oh, sorry Heidi. Did I interrupt anything?”

“No, actually! I’m on my break luckily- and I told you to call me mom, ok?”

“Ok Hei-mom. I’m just, uh wondering if Evan contacted you at all today?”

“Evan? Well he told me he would be out with you, so what is the-”

“...”

“Oh.”

“I need to go.”

“Wait- Connor! Is- what- how- what happened?!”

“Nothing bad mom. When I find him I’ll tell you.”

“A-are you sure?

“Don’t worry, I know where he is.”

“OK, be careful please-”

 

End call

 

Private chat between Connor and Evan

Connor: evan

Connor: evan i can see you

Connor: youre up that tree

Connor: in the fucking Orchard

Connor: you can see meeee

Connor: The Autumn Smile Apple Orchard mf

 

Connor: youre not trying to do anything right

 

Connor: ill be sitting down here waitng

 

Connor: i dont care if i have to stay the whole day

Connor: even if larry gets mad

 

Connor: we have to talk

Connor: blease

 

Evan: I was going to answer back but then you said ‘blease’ and I lost all the respect I had left for you.

Connor: omg evan are you ok

 

Evan: No.

Evan: But I will be.

Evan: I have to be.

 

Connor: why didn tyou tell me

Evan: I told you didn’t it? I didn’t want to bother with your already growing problems.

Connor: o h for fucks sake evan

Connor:im your friend arent i? i told u that im here for u no matter fucking what

Connor: that includes this shit ok

Connor: please

Connor: please talk to me ev

 

Evan: Come up. I’m on a branch that can hold both of us.

Connor: i cant clim b up fuckin trees that w ell tho

Evan: You're lanky, use that for something.

Connor: fne ok im coming up

 

Private chat between Connor and Heidi

Connor: hes safe and sound heidi

Heidi: Mom*

Heidi: But that’s great! Keep an eye on him, won’t you? You can sleep over if you want!

Connor: can i? 

Heidi: Of course! I gave you the permission to do this literally naytime you guys want.

Heidi: anytime*

Heidi: Take care! I’m coming with dinner tonight. Pizza sounds good? Hawaiian, salad and french fry pizza as well!

Connor: yea thank you

Connor: we will

 

 

 

Private chat between Con and Al

Con: ALANA

Con: ALANA OMG OMG OMG

Con: LANA YOURE MY EMOTION LOVE THING SUPPORT AND I NEED YOU OMFUCKINGAKSJFDSHGFD

Con: ALANAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASKJFDHKSJDGHKSDG

Al: WHAT IS EVERYTHING ALRIGHT?

Al: Is Evan ok?!

Con: HE IS

Con: AAAAAA

Al: What is it???

 

Con: H E KISSDESD M E

 

Al: What?!

 

Con: EVAN FUCKING KISSED ME

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sup yall been a while!
> 
> Yes I left this on a cliffhanger. Am I happy with that? Definitely. It’s not much of a cliffhanger bc as much as I love tree bros I still Want. More Slow Burn. So lol ill see where the fuck that leads
> 
> Hope yall are fine! Did you guys have nice holidays? Do you guys have any new years resolutions? I decided to not give myself any bc putting expectations on myself is tiring lol.
> 
> Have a great day/evening! And night!


	12. Oof

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow. Evan, really? Is Connor ok?? Is anyone ok??? Oh no, hons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sup homos, I'm back! Shit's happening lmao
> 
> Enjoy!

Private Chat between Zoella and AlaNO

Zoella: Hey babe

AlaNO: Hello hon! What’s up?

Zoella: Its the weekend right

AlaNO: Yeah?

Zoella: Can I come over?

AlaNO: Ah sure! Though in a few minutes- I need to clean my room or my mom will kill me heh.

Zoella: Yea ofc <3

AlaNO: <3

 

Alana: You’re ok though, right?

Zoella: I mean, kinda. Connors been sulking the past week.

AlaNO: Wait, really?

Zoella: Ugh 

Zoella: Yeah it feels like hes the same asshole he was before

Zoella: I really dont like it

Alana: Hm…

Alana: Damn, ok. Come over now if it is?

Zoe: Thanks.

Alana: Of course love.

 

Private Chat between Zoe and Cynthia

Zoe: Hey mom

Cynthia: Hi sweetie! How can I help you?

Zoe: Can I sleep over at Alanas tonight?

Zoe: Cause like,,,you know

Cynthia: Ah.

Cynthia: Yeah of course, want me to come over with your toiletries? And some spare clothes?

Zoe: Yea please

Zoe: And some pads

Cynthia: Alright! I’ll be there in a few minutes

Zoe: Thanks

 

Zoe: Ill come over after school tomorrow?

Cynthia: That’s fine!

Zoe: Thanks again.

Cynthia: No problem, hon. :)

 

Private Chat between AlaNO and Zoella

AlaNO: Hey, you know you can tell me whatever you have on your mind right?

Zoella: Yah ofc why

AlaNO: You’re not feeling well. I can clearly see it.

AlaNO: But you don’t want to talk to me. Why is that?

AlaNO: I don’t blame you. Nor am I mad at you. I’m here for you.

Zoella: I just

Zoella: I guess I just panicked that Connor will turn back to his like

Zoella: Old self i guess?

Zoella: Hes changed so much ever since he met Evan and he has gotten better but now its just???

Zoella: UGH

AlaNO: Its ok sweetie take your time

Zoella: I understand that uh

Zoella: Recovery is a slip and slide thing but still

Zoella: It scares me seeing him like that

 

AlaNO: Come on, turn around. Let’s cuddle.

Zoella: Yeah ok.

 

AlaNO: I love you.

 

Zoella: I love you too. <3

AlaNO: <3

 

Private Chat between Jar and Evy

Jar: Dude what is up

Evy: What?

Jar: You and Connor man

Jar: Y’all are acting so fucking awkward

Jar: And he barely talks to you now?

Evy: Ah… Is it really that obvious?

Jar: uh yeah?

Jar: What happened dude???

Evy: Oof

Evy: Look, I’ll tell you about it. Come over.

Jar: kinky

Evy: Don't make me regret this Jared.

Jar: yeah ok ill be there in a few mins

Evy: Ok.

 

Private Chat between Alana and Connor

Alana: Hey con you alright?

Alana: It’s monday.

 

Alana: Connoooor.

 

Alana: You arent at school are you alright??

 

Private Chat between Evan and Connor

Evan: Look, Connor. I’m really sorry. Can’t we talk it? All?

Evan: Please, I’m sorry for disappointing you.

Evan: Connor?  
_Message couldn’t be sent_

 

Private chat between Alana and Connor

Alana: Why are you ignoring me.

Alana: Come on, I messaged you yesterday already.

Alana: Swettie.

 

Alana: CONNOR.

Alana: I’M LITERALLY SITTING BEHIND YOU. ANSWER ME.

 

Connor: what

Alana: Oh my Goodness finally.

Alana: What is up? You aren’t ok.

Connor: Yeah no shit

Connor: im beter tho i jsut needed to get a br eak from everone

Connor: im ok

Alana: No, You’re not.

Connor: no im not oof

Connor: i will be

Alana: Want to talk about it?

Connor: Ughghghhghgghghghg 

Connor: yes

Alana: Is it about Evan?

Connor: kinda but hes not the main thing i guess

Alana: Oh?

Connor: I relapsed

Connor: weed wise and also

Connor: cutting

Connor: and jsut smoking in general lol

Alana: Oh, swettie.

Connor: and then evan kissed me and told me that it was a mistake???

Connor: which is sending mixed signals because ive been told he likes me and then not

Connor: and it fucked w my head and its just

Connor: ugh

Connor: im so tired

Alana: It’s ok.

Connor: no it isnt

Connor: curse evans slytherin nature lol

Alana: Connor.

 

Connor: can i come over? please?

Alana: Yeah, of course

 

Connor: di dzoe sleep over at ur place bc of me

Connor: and b tru thful please

Alana: Kinda? I think most of it yes…

Connor: thanks for being honest

Connor: at elast one of my friends are lol

Alana: Swettie…

Connor: im hre

Alana: Alright.

 

Group chat “treebros emergencies(just in case)”

Alana: Never thought that we’d have to genuinely use this chat. But it’s time.

Alana: We need to get them in a room together so they can talk this shit out.

Zoe: But I need to have a serious talk with Evan before.

Jared: does that mean that ull have to tell him that connor loves him right

Zoe: Yup

Zoe: They are so stupid

Alana: Worryingly so.

Jared: ugh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone is doing fine! Life's been a rollercoaster lmfao.  
> We're moving and we don't have wifi at home so I'm at the library rn so if there are any inconsistencies I'll check them out tomorrow bc I need to leave this place in half an hour and need to write for my other fics lol.  
> Hope everyone is doing fine! Tell me about yall day or smth, or leave a comment about where you think this is going :0  
> I might write some scenes from this fic in actual like,,, Actions but no guarantees that it will b good lol.
> 
> Have a great day/evening! And night!


	13. Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The TreeBros Saving Operation team have a plan!!! Will it go well?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sup fellow comrades, enjoy this chapter!!!

**Group chat “Dead”**

Jared: what the fuck

Evan: What? Do you still think tacos ehlls are better?

Evan: shells*

Jared: its just

Jared: i didnt expect them to be this good with tortillas

Evan: Mhm.

Zoe: Taco shells will still be the best you absolute fool.

Zoe: You absolute dumbass.

Jared: u absolute mad lad

Zoe: KJDFJKDKJ

Evan: Omg.

Evan:I can’t anymore.

Jared: oh no

Evan: Jared, I’m divorcing you.

Jared: no bby please im sorry!!11!!!

Evan: I can’t keep on doing this, you’re out of control!

Jared: ill change i swear!!

Evan: Sorry, but this is a no.

Jared: b-but >w<

Evan: I

Evan kicked Jared

Zoe: JKSDJKLDSKJLKJDSF

Zoe: That was SO weird to see him write that XD

Evan: Definitely

Alana: Kids. What. Happened.

Zoe: EVAN KICKED JARED OUT OF THE CHAT

Evan: I

Zoe: >:3c

Alana: Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.

Alana: Why.

Evan: Because I’m divorcing him.

Alana: Wha?

Evan added Jared

Jared: the two of us are married on facebook u cant do this to me

Jared: not like this

Evan: Reported. Blocked. Unfriended. Deleted. My mom is calling your mom

Zoe: KJSDFHJDSJ

Jared: JSDFKJKLJSDF

Alana: Omfg.

Zoe: Damn boi where do u learn those memes

Evan: Um.

Zoe: Evan

Evan: Tumblr.

Zoe: Omg u have a fucking tumblr, and i never knew???????????????????????

Jared: fucking traitor

Alana: I have one as well!

Evan: !!!

Evan: What’s your tumblr about?

Alana: It’s a positivity and studyblr one! 

Alana: The aesthetic of it really makes me feel motivated and the positivity is a small, but needed change in my life!

Jared: so predictable

Alana: Bet yours is as well.

Jared: Nuhuh Honey

Alana: Let me guess then. Yours is for ships and memes? Maybe crying about gay stuff.

Jared: ,,,,

Jared: maybe

Zoe: JSDFJKKSD

Zoe: Y’all are weak

Evan: What’s yours about then?

Zoe: Random stuff! But especially activist shit!

Zoe: And a lot of lesbian stuff dfkjkjdk

Zoe: About,,,, home much,,, i love my gf,,,,

Alana: Aww, babe!

Zoe: : 3

Jared: Gross

Alana: You’re just jealous.

Jared: maybeso.gif

Evan: Wow

Jared: i can feel ur dissaproval, perish

Zoe: HEY actually that reminds me 

Zoe: Evan have u talked w connor recently?

 

**Group chat “Operation: Save Treebros”**

Jared: real smooth bitch

Zoe: Die

Alana: Asdfdgkjl.

 

**Group chat “Dead”**

Evan: Um. I haven’t actually. No.

Evan: He’s been ignoring me, rightfully so.

Zoe: Hm

Zoe: Sounds fake but ok

 

**Private Chat between Zoe and Evan**

Zoe: Yo u wanna ahng out

Evan: Uh, depends. When and where?

Zoe: Today at Alanas place

Zoe: We can watch Queer Eye and paint eachothers nails

Evan: Ah… I don’t know Zoe, I’m kinda busy.

Zoe: Alana has tree stickers to put on your nails tho

Zoe: And mountain dew

Evan: …

Zoe: Be there in 30 minutes?

Evan: Deal.

 

**Group chat “Operation: Save Treebros”**

Zoe: Victim nr 1 has agreed.

Zoe: 30 minutes from now on and hes at ur place

Jared: al why at your place out of everyones?

Alana: Ah! Well! You see!

Alana: Zoes and Connors would not be the best for them to meet again, due to the fact that Larry is home and that would not end well. And at your place you have your snivelling goddamn brother and sister that wouldnt let them alone.

Alana: Any objections?

Jared: No m’am

Alana: Great! I’ll try with Connor now.

Zoe: Good luck babe!!!

Alana: <3!!!

Jared: ew

 

**Private chat between Alana and Connor**

Alana: Yo.

Connor: blocke de

Alana: :(

Connor: lol wahts popping

Alana: How would you feel like braiding your hair and paiting your nails while we watch some Queer Eye and have some swell time?

Connor: suspicion

Connor: who esle wil l be therr

Alana: Zoe(who just arrived here actually) and Jared who will be here in about 20 minutes!

Connor: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Connor: sure

Connor: im boredd any way 

Connor: i shoudlev hung fout w ev but eh

Alana: Understandable, see you in a bit?

Connor: sure

Alana: Great!

 

**Group chat “Operation: Save Treebros”**

Alana: Bitch Nr. 2 is coming as well

Zoe: Hopefully this will turn out fine lads

Jared: rt

Alana: RT!

 

**Private chat between Jared and Connor**

Jared: wanna ride together to alanas place?

Connor: k

Jared: cool cool ill mesage u when i arrive

Connor: aight

 

**Private chat between Zoe and Evan**

Zoe: Hey Ev!!!

Evan: Yeah?

Zoe: Srry if its too much to ask but seems like Alana forgot the nail polish and shes busy as I am

Zoe: But could you take the pink shoebox from her goddamn storage room/walk in closet whatever?

Evan: Ah! Of course! I’ll get it now!

Zoe:Thanks!!

 

**Group chat “Operation: Save Treebros”**

Zoe: Evan is going for the shoe box in the closet

Jared: thats great cause we just arrived

Zoe: Great!!!

 

**Private chat between Jared and Connor**

Jared: yo weed boy, alana asked me to get a pink shoebox or whatever that has a shit ton of nail polish in can u come help me find it

Connor: do it orn ur own slut???

Jared: BITCHJKDSJKKDS

Jared: no but i cant see well in the dark since the light doesnt work and i need helb

Connor: UGHHGHHG

Connor: finee

 

**Group chat “Operation: Save Treebros”**

Jared: GOING UP

Zoe: OK OK COMING COMING

 

**Group chat “Operation: Save Treebros”**

Alana: SO

Alana: HOW DID IT GO? I CAN HEAR SOME SCREAMING?

Zoe: OK OK SO SO THEY ARENT TALKING YET BUT SCREAMING AT JARED AND ME RIP

Zoe: So like it all went according to plan!! Till this point.

Zoe: As Ev was distracted Jared and connor would go up to the closet as well, so they could meet, and i was going up w them as well like “oh yah just going to alans bedroom for something lmao”

Zoe: And when Connor realised who was in the closet as he opened the door Jared jsut fucking PUSHED HIM IN THERE AND TOTALLY FELL ON EVAN POOR DUDE

Alana: Omg.

Zoe: Then I immediately locked it and now Connor is banging on the door lmfao

Jared: “YOU PIECE OF SHIT- LET ME OUT OR ILL TEAR YOUR LUNGS OUT WITH ONLY MY FUCKING WRISTS”

Jared: Scared

Zoe: You should be

Alana: We can watch Bo Burnham till they finish

Zoe: RT

Jared: RT

 

**Private chat between Evan and Connor**

Evan: So…

Evan: Hi, we haven’t talked in a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Hope yall liked this chapter! Just spit it out in like an hour or less and im actually happy with it lol
> 
> Next chapter they will get their shit together!! I swear!  
> (the gals need more time to be romantic, wtf author fix that)
> 
> Have a great day/evening! And night!


	14. Poor Traumatized Kids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh. Oh... Oh? Oh...? Oh??? OH??? O H ?!!1!!!!  
> Operation: Save Treebros has undergone. what are the results? Find out whenever I actually post the next chapter bc the boys didnt ta-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEWWO EVERYONE! I was supposed to post it last week but I ended up not having enough time lol.  
> I have gotten back from Berin today actually! So it's the best opportunity to post this one hehe :3
> 
> Next chapter might come in a month lol April is getting ready for exams month and May is exams
> 
> Kill me
> 
> Enjoy!

**Private chat between Evan and Connor**

Evan: Look, I know you don’t want to talk to… but Jared made it clear we have no other choice.

 

Evan: Connor?

 

Evan: Con, you're ignoring me. I don't want to have to start texting you instead.

 

Evan: Connor, please stop ignoring me. Please.

Evan: Connor.

 

Connor: theres nothing to talk aboiut evan

Connor: u made it clear thag ure not itnerested stop fucking with me

Connor: ure mean but goddammit too much for my mental stability 

Evan: I

Evan: Look. Please,can I.

Evan: Explain?

Connor: hm

Connor : give me one reason 

Connor: ONE GOOD REASON

Connor: as to why i should fucking listen to u rn

Evan: I, um 

Connor: You cant wven find one, fucking awesome

 

Evan: No, wait. Wait 

Connor: nit waiting 

Evan: Fine!

Evan: Because I feel like you deserve better.

Evan: Better than my shitty rejection. An explanation, an apology, and the truth

Connor: “the truth” really

Connor: what the fuck evan

 

Evan: Im sorry

Evan: I’m not good at this.

 

Connor: i know

Connor: youre so pathetic sometimes yoh know?

Connor: and so. exhausting.

 

Connor: you hurt me

 

Connor: badly

 

Evan: I know

 

Connor: you know how this shit fucked with me

Connor: what the fuck

Connor: whywhwy

 

Evan: Don't cry, please. Im sorry.

Connor: DONT JUST “Im sorry” ME

Connor: GODDAMN EVAN

Connor: FUCK

 

Evan: Im sorry

Evan: Shit, sorry

Connor: fuck yiu.

Connor: _fuck you evan_

Connor: its just brandon all over again fuck

Evan: I

Evan: I¨m so sorry

Connor: youre cying? Really?

Evan: I

Connor: gettin compaerd to that bitch seems to have hurt u huh

Connor: how sad

 

Connoe: fucking talk and ill tell u when im getting tired of listening to you

Connor: after i scream more at jared

Evan: Thank you for giving me another chance.

Connor: whateber 

 

**Group chat “Operation: Save Treebros; Status: ongoing”**

Zoe: Wtf

Alana: Did you really scream “Not until you guys make-out!” or was it just me?

Jared: nah i just did that

Jared: they are going somewhere with this, i can feel it

Zoe: Sounds fake but ok

Alana: I hope it goes well…

 

 

**Group chat “Operation: Save Treebros; Status: ongoing”**

Zoe: Um

Zoe: guys

Jared: what

Alana: ?

Zoe: Its been 4 hours 

Zoe: since we locked them in

Jared:

Alana: 

Jared: WHAT

Alana: JARED WERENT YOU SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT THE TIME????????

Jared: 4 HIURS AGO YEAH

Jared: IM GOING UP TO THEM OH GOODNESS

 

 

Zoe: DID JARED JUST FUCKING SCREECH

Alana: HE DID OMG

Zoe: KLSDFLKSJFD

 

**Group chat “Pretty dead Yikes”**

 

Jared: MY EYES

Evan: Jared.

Jared: MY VIRGIN EYES OH N O

Alana: What?

Zoe: ????

Connor: lol

Zoe: CONNOR WHAT HAPPENED

Connor: i dont kiss abd tell lmfao

Alana: O

Jared: THEY WERE MAKING IUT

Jared: ALMOST FUCKING

Jared: I DIDNT NE E D TO SEE THAT 

Zoe:

Alana:

Zoe: who

Connor: im a bottom bitch fuck yiu

Jared:JDHSJDKSJJDF

Zoe: JSJDKFJD OH GODS

 

**Group chat “Operation: Save Treebros; Status: COMEPLETE”**

 

Zoe: Operation save treebros complete

Zoe: Only minor damage to our crew

Jared: MINOR???

Zoe: Correction

Zoe: Almost died

Alana: Oh Shush.

Alana: It has been an honour working with you guys.

Alana archived the “ **Group chat “Operation: Save Treebros; Status: COMPLETE”**  
” Group chat.

Last text: November 14th 19:12 pm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you guys would like a small side-fic on how the conversation between Evan and Connor went down tell me in the comments! I would love to try and make some angst lol.
> 
> Hope you have a great day/evening! And night lovelies!
> 
> Notice: I might replace the date of November or something, because I forgot to look up when thanksgiving is and need to make a timeline of this fic lol

**Author's Note:**

> I hope u guys thought it was a little bit funny even.  
> If u liked it maybe so kudos or comments? I would appreciate them. And maybe if u guys have some funny ideas comment or even message me on Tumblr at @biancas-koala  
> I'll try to see if I can update at least once a week but with school atm(I have a lot of shit to do), my mental illnesses and my parents... Yeah...
> 
> Have a great day/evening!


End file.
